I was surprised to receive only two emails raising questions following my last posting on this blog. I had taken up the topic of welcome at church and given two examples. These presented two extremes. No one took issue with the story of the two old men who completely ignored a visitor. However, the emails I received both suggested that some might find the welcome I received at a church in Herefordshire somewhat overwhelming and uncomfortable.
I suspect that we will have various attitudes to what kind of welcome we might find appropriate. This too might vary depending on our mood on arrival at the church door. The real point that I was seeking to make was that some people seem to have the ability to be good hosts (could that be a gift?) and that these are the people who should be responsible, not just for a moment of welcome, but for the whole aspect of hospitality at church. A good host would know how effusive to be. They pick up the signals given out by body language and respond appropriately.
I have a good friend who has an aversion to being hugged as she goes to church. If she arrives at the same time as others she will slip past and into church while the 'welcomers' are engaged hugging others. Her other strategy as someone holds out their arms to hug her is to offer her right hand stretched out stiffly for just a hand shake. People soon take the hint. In England the practise of greeting people for the first time with a kiss on the cheek (or is it both cheeks?) seems to be increasingly common. This too is common in many churches but it isn't always appropriate.
There are some of us who still practise initial greetings with a handshake and saying "How do you do?" which is not actually a question to be answered! The correct response is to answer with "How do you do?" Of course many people of younger years now have the habit of greeting people with "How are you doing?" which is a question and for which the normative response should be "I'm, good thanks" which, of course, does not actually mean that you are good! I also find it strange to be greeted with the words, "Are you all right?" which seems very common in the East Midlands of England where I live.
Perhaps this variety of forms of greeting also emphasises the importance of using appropriate and possibly trained people to greet folk coming into church. For some people an overly intimate greeting or welcome might feel actually threatening. I know this is true of some women who have suffered sexual abuse. Some want to slip in quietly and sit on their own at the back. To encourage them then to act differently is not being hospitable.
I remember that some research I was doing about growing rural congregations included a story of a Devon Parish Church that was a new building in the heart of the community. This had replaced an old building on the outskirts of the village that had burned down. The new building was more 'in the round' and brilliantly lit from windows high in a dome above the centre. Light scattered into every corner. But one woman commented, "Where do I go to cry?"
But it's not just the initial welcome but the whole tone of the meeting that is also significant. It is unlikely that whoever is leading worship will know precisely what has been going on in the lives of each member of the congregation. But God does know, so we need to try to cultivate sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and watch out for signals from body language. A bright an cheery opening might be just what is needed sometimes but not always. And that leads me onto the topic of humour in church.
Every public speaker knows that people learn well when information is communicated with humour. But there are times when it is appropriate and times when it is inappropriate. When I was President of the Congregational Federation I was the guest Minister at a certain church one cold winter day. I was ushered into a small cold and damp Ministers vestry (or office) to wait on my own until some time later I was gathered and taken to the choir vestry. On my way I caught a glimpse into the church where the small congregation were scattered and looked very cold. To my delight the choir vestry was warm and cosy, so I observed wryly that perhaps we should invite the congregation to join us. This provoked many chuckles and the odd hearty laugh. Then a censorious voice uttered "Can we remember where we are!" Immediately the laughter ceased (should we have laughed at this comment?)
Does, I wonder, solemnity equal misery? Can we be joyfully solemn? Is there a time to weep and a time to laugh? Are both appropriate in church? Of course, the informed answer has to be yes. This then brings me to the question posed in my previous posting: "Did Jesus have a sense of humour?" The implied accompanying question is can this be discerned in the gospels?
I think the answer to both questions is "Yes". Often Jesus used hyperbole or exaggerated speech in order to make points. We can see that in the story of the Good Samaritan and in his conversation with Nicodemus. I can imagine in the former example a slight pause after the words "...a certain Samaritan.." and perhaps a wry smile. In the latter either Jesus is teasing Nicodemus or being plain sarcastic in his comments. But many times when we read scripture aloud we make the tone of Jesus' voice stern and challenging. Try reading is again with a slight touch of wit as Jesus responds to Nicodemus' comments.
Using humour carefully can actually help to make a serious point. Of course there were times when Jesus would have sounded very serious. I would include in that his words about the cost of discipleship, which involves self denial and taking up a cross. But might there have been a smile on the face of Jesus when he talked about turning Galilean fishermen into fishers of men? (Matthew 4:19) You can decide for yourself, of course, but just try reflecting on how we read scripture aloud publicly and don't turn Jesus into someone who never laughed at a good joke.
I love the story of Nehemiah which isn't only about restoring walls and gates; there was spiritual restoration as well. The people wept as they realised how far they had strayed from God's ideal. But they were urged to cease from weeping and told that "the joy of the Lord is our strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). When the kings of the earth conspire against God we are told he laughs (Psalm 2:4). Isaiah speaks of God's people giving him joy (Isaiah 68:19). I love the words of Zephaniah 3:17, quoted here from the AV
I suspect that we will have various attitudes to what kind of welcome we might find appropriate. This too might vary depending on our mood on arrival at the church door. The real point that I was seeking to make was that some people seem to have the ability to be good hosts (could that be a gift?) and that these are the people who should be responsible, not just for a moment of welcome, but for the whole aspect of hospitality at church. A good host would know how effusive to be. They pick up the signals given out by body language and respond appropriately.
I have a good friend who has an aversion to being hugged as she goes to church. If she arrives at the same time as others she will slip past and into church while the 'welcomers' are engaged hugging others. Her other strategy as someone holds out their arms to hug her is to offer her right hand stretched out stiffly for just a hand shake. People soon take the hint. In England the practise of greeting people for the first time with a kiss on the cheek (or is it both cheeks?) seems to be increasingly common. This too is common in many churches but it isn't always appropriate.
There are some of us who still practise initial greetings with a handshake and saying "How do you do?" which is not actually a question to be answered! The correct response is to answer with "How do you do?" Of course many people of younger years now have the habit of greeting people with "How are you doing?" which is a question and for which the normative response should be "I'm, good thanks" which, of course, does not actually mean that you are good! I also find it strange to be greeted with the words, "Are you all right?" which seems very common in the East Midlands of England where I live.
Perhaps this variety of forms of greeting also emphasises the importance of using appropriate and possibly trained people to greet folk coming into church. For some people an overly intimate greeting or welcome might feel actually threatening. I know this is true of some women who have suffered sexual abuse. Some want to slip in quietly and sit on their own at the back. To encourage them then to act differently is not being hospitable.
I remember that some research I was doing about growing rural congregations included a story of a Devon Parish Church that was a new building in the heart of the community. This had replaced an old building on the outskirts of the village that had burned down. The new building was more 'in the round' and brilliantly lit from windows high in a dome above the centre. Light scattered into every corner. But one woman commented, "Where do I go to cry?"
But it's not just the initial welcome but the whole tone of the meeting that is also significant. It is unlikely that whoever is leading worship will know precisely what has been going on in the lives of each member of the congregation. But God does know, so we need to try to cultivate sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and watch out for signals from body language. A bright an cheery opening might be just what is needed sometimes but not always. And that leads me onto the topic of humour in church.
Every public speaker knows that people learn well when information is communicated with humour. But there are times when it is appropriate and times when it is inappropriate. When I was President of the Congregational Federation I was the guest Minister at a certain church one cold winter day. I was ushered into a small cold and damp Ministers vestry (or office) to wait on my own until some time later I was gathered and taken to the choir vestry. On my way I caught a glimpse into the church where the small congregation were scattered and looked very cold. To my delight the choir vestry was warm and cosy, so I observed wryly that perhaps we should invite the congregation to join us. This provoked many chuckles and the odd hearty laugh. Then a censorious voice uttered "Can we remember where we are!" Immediately the laughter ceased (should we have laughed at this comment?)
Does, I wonder, solemnity equal misery? Can we be joyfully solemn? Is there a time to weep and a time to laugh? Are both appropriate in church? Of course, the informed answer has to be yes. This then brings me to the question posed in my previous posting: "Did Jesus have a sense of humour?" The implied accompanying question is can this be discerned in the gospels?
I think the answer to both questions is "Yes". Often Jesus used hyperbole or exaggerated speech in order to make points. We can see that in the story of the Good Samaritan and in his conversation with Nicodemus. I can imagine in the former example a slight pause after the words "...a certain Samaritan.." and perhaps a wry smile. In the latter either Jesus is teasing Nicodemus or being plain sarcastic in his comments. But many times when we read scripture aloud we make the tone of Jesus' voice stern and challenging. Try reading is again with a slight touch of wit as Jesus responds to Nicodemus' comments.
Using humour carefully can actually help to make a serious point. Of course there were times when Jesus would have sounded very serious. I would include in that his words about the cost of discipleship, which involves self denial and taking up a cross. But might there have been a smile on the face of Jesus when he talked about turning Galilean fishermen into fishers of men? (Matthew 4:19) You can decide for yourself, of course, but just try reflecting on how we read scripture aloud publicly and don't turn Jesus into someone who never laughed at a good joke.
I love the story of Nehemiah which isn't only about restoring walls and gates; there was spiritual restoration as well. The people wept as they realised how far they had strayed from God's ideal. But they were urged to cease from weeping and told that "the joy of the Lord is our strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). When the kings of the earth conspire against God we are told he laughs (Psalm 2:4). Isaiah speaks of God's people giving him joy (Isaiah 68:19). I love the words of Zephaniah 3:17, quoted here from the AV
"The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save,
he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love,
he will joy over thee with singing."
Right now your heart might be heavy with sadness. If that is so then know that God knows and cares. He also weeps with those who are sad. He also promises that joy will come again. One day he will wipe away all tears from our eyes and in his presence there will be fullness of joy.
From the diary:
- Several of the weeks of August are less busy with engagements but still plenty to do. It is a chance to catch up on correspondence. It is also an opportunity to take time to sense God's presence and guidance, and a time to prepare for the busy time to come.
- After my regular weekly time at HMP Gartree Doreen and I will be travelling to south Wales for the funeral of an uncle who was well in his nineties. Like my father he would have had an initial influence through the Salvation Army but spent most of his adult life in a Baptist church. He loved the Lord and through his eighties and into his nineties loved nothing more than speaking about the Lord to others. I ask you prayers for those in his family who have not yet come to that same wonderful relationship with God through Christ.
- This Sunday, 24th August I will be ministering at Yelvertoft.
- Sunday 31st August I will be taking the Sunday service at HMP Gartree and I value your prayers that I might sense what God wants to say on that occasion.
Thank you for your fellowship around God's throne of undeserved generosity. (Hebrews 4:16)
Barry
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