What's the Point of Worship?

A friend of mine recently expressed that he found worship unhelpful and personally meaningless.  I applaud his honesty.  Many Christians sometimes find themselves reflecting on their experience of corporate worship, and facing up to the fact that it sometimes seems meaningless.  If this is the case, then we are likely also to ask what is the point of going to church, since it seems mainly about worship.

There are several issues, and space here is limited, so I will not attempt to address them all, or even any of them in great depth.  In many traditional churches, we use the term worship to define our meeting together.  Sometimes we refer to the meeting as a ‘service’.  Personally, I find both terms unhelpful, and I have resorted to usually simply referring to them as meetings.  The Bible provides a pattern for the meetings of the early Christians, but both what we have inherited, and more contemporary versions, often seem distinct from the biblical record.

In a gathering of several churches that follow the traditional inherited model, I asked what they thought the main purpose was for most churches.  Their answer was “to worship God”.  I think this was a misunderstanding of the first item in the catechism.  What it states in answer to the question, “What is the chief end of man?” is “… to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.”  The Catechism continues to explain that we can discover how to do this from the scriptures.  But “glorifying God” certainly does not mean a church-based activity, while “enjoying God forever” might give us a better insight into what worship is really about.

One core aspect of worship is the acknowledgement of our relationship to God. He is above all things, and we depend upon him for our very breath.  In the Hebrew scriptures (OT) we see worship expressed in cultic form both as far as false gods are concerned and what took place in the Tabernacle and Temple.  But we also see that God disdains worship that is merely external and formal but that lacks sincerity (see Isaiah 29:13, and Psalm 51:16,17).

This finds an echo in the conversation about worship that Jesus had with a Samaritan woman.  He told her, “… a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshippers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”  (John 4: 23, 24) While mind and heart may be involved in worship, it is essentially a spiritual exercise.  That can only happen where there is a spiritual relationship with God.

God certainly is not egotistical, loving to hear himself praised.  Nor does he suffer from low self-esteem.  So, worship is not about making God feel good.  It is an expression about how God makes us feel, as we benefit from his love, grace and mercy.  This is not the same as putting ourselves as the focus of worship.  It is aa response to whom we have discovered to be experientially.  If our worship delights God, it will be because we genuinely express our enjoyment of him.  In much the same way, when I tell my wife that I love her, it is so that she knows how much she means to me.  Of course, she might know that already, but expressing how I feel about her is not only right, but also good.

My first real experience of worship took place on two occasions linked to an Operation Mobilization Convention in 1963. Together with a few teenage Christian friends, and an Austrian Christian woman, we had driven from Hastings to Chigwell and met with several hundred other Christians passionate about making Jesus known.  On the Sunday morning we had crowded into a large tent for worship.  As we celebrated communion together, I was overwhelmed by the wonder of Jesus’ sacrificial love.  I felt moved to sing ‘When I survey the wondrous cross’.  I had got no further than the third word when some 500 voices joined mine as together we expressed how thankful we were for this ‘love so amazing, so divine’.  In that moment, it felt as if heaven and earth had met together.

That evening, as we were driving back home, we listened to Songs of Praise on the car radio.  This was a programme of gospel hymns, every Sunday evening.  Suddenly, as I listened to these wonderful hymn, I found I could not help praising God. ‘Hallelujahs ‘and ‘Praise the Lords’ pored out of me uncontrollably.  Since that day there have been many occasions when singing old hymns or new songs I have felt that spiritual engagement, and truly worshipped.  But there have been many times also when singing an old hymn or new songs has failed to elicit a response from my heart.  The form might be there, but the worship was missing.

Our meetings are often designed to meet certain expectations.  This is true whether we have what is sometimes called a hymn sandwich, or whether we open the meeting with 45 minutes of the latest Christian songs.  But if worship leaders have failed to understand the real nature of worship, and if the Spirit of God is not moving in the lives of the congregation, it is likely to be worship in name only, and some may wonder, what is the point?

In chapters 10 to 14 of his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul has much to say about our meetings.  He exhorts love to be shown and selfishness to be set aside.  He encourages all to exercise their gifts but also urges that the meetings are conducted in an orderly way.  In 1Corinthians 14:26 he describes a meeting in which various people participate in different ways, just one of which might be with a hymn.  But he also emphasises that there is a purpose for these meetings.  It is for the spiritual growth of the members of the congregation.  If there is no clear purpose to all that takes place when we meet, it will also leave some wondering, “What is the point?”

As I have always sought in my ministry to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, I want to leave you with two suggestions.  For those planning to conduct church meetings, make sure that there is a sense of purpose to it all, and that elements that are meant to be worship allow time and room for the Holy Spirit to evoke a response to truth that might make the worshippers feel something of heaven on earth.

My second suggestion is a little mischievous.  If the purpose of the service is not clear or if the worship does not truly engage with your soul and spirit, enquire of the worship leader(s), in an appropriate time, place and way, what they had hoped to achieve.  Be honest, but be loving.  Perhaps, if those who lead meetings were lovingly challenged, there would be fewer people going home disappointed, and more getting excited about God and our wonderful Saviour.

From the Diary

Thank you for your prayers.  It was good to be taking the Family Service for Goodwood Evangelical Church last Sunday.  I’d found it strange that the theme to which I felt led was more adult than children, and had wondered how I would adapt some parts.  When I arrived, I discovered that there were no children expected that day! School Assembly on Monday was on ‘Wisdom’ and I needed wisdom in several special meetings in the week.  Sadly, for reasons beyond my control, I was unable to hold a choir practice in prison.  Please pray that this coming Tuesday we will not suffer from the same problems.

As we move through Advent, we remember a second coming is promised.  May we all be found ready.

Barry

2^nd December 2017

Called to Wrestle

Wrestling

For many people in the UK ”wrestling” is not a concept they would automatically associate with their Christian experience.  For some, the only kind of wrestling in which they engage is wrestling to stay awake during a boring sermon, or wrestling to stay gracious through a hymn or song which is not blessing them.  In his letters to the churches, and in his pastoral letters, the apostle Paul occasionally surprises me by the verbs he employs, such as describing a man who “labours” in prayer (Colossians 4:12).

There is only one reference to wrestling in the New Testament.(NT Greek word: palē).  It comes in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus and chapter 6.  In that city today you can sit in the splendid historic amphitheatre where, no doubt, the citizens were familiar with wrestling tournaments.  Rules for Greco-Roman wrestling differ from the freestyle wrestling which is more common today.  The aim was to win against your opponent either by managing to pin his shoulders down for a prescribed time, or by accumulating more points than your opponent, gained by throws.  Either win is based upon the ability to throw your opponent off balance.

The word palē is translated in some Bible versions as “struggle”, but it has the sense of a contest, and I prefer the word “wrestle” as, for me, it describes the situation better.  Paul is stating that we are caught up in a situation, not against human enemies but a range of spiritual forces.  While on the surface it may seem as if, at times, we are in a battle with human forces, behind this there is something dark that is contrary to the holiness of God.  In the same passage, Paul speaks about the wiles or schemes of the devil. We have an enemy who craftily plots against us.

It is all too easy to become obsessive about spiritual warfare, but we do need to remain alert to the fact that we have an enemy who intelligently schemes to throw us off balance or to pin us down.  But if we draw on the strength of God, and use the armour he provides (faith, righteousness, our hope in salvation, truth, scripture, and our readiness to share the good news), we are well able to keep standing through the battle.

Personally, it is that sense in which the wrestler seeks to throw his opponent off balance, that has been speaking to me recently.  I originally thought that I would write something about the importance of keeping our focus in mission.  I even began writing about this.  It is all too easy to become distracted, so that the main thing ceases to be the main thing.  We find that other aspects of our Christian and church life take up our resources, so that we are no longer missional with a clear vision of what God is calling us to do.

In our most recent webinar, Gordon Banks and I suggested that perhaps the winter months after Christmas would be a good time to gather the members of our churches and reflect on who we are, how we got here, what we should be doing and where we are going.  Almost certainly the church where you fellowship and worship was established through evangelism.  Those who started the church had a concern that others should hear the good news of Jesus, and have passed on to succeeding generations that same task.  As indeed Jesus did. (How well are we doing with the one thing he asked us to do for him?)  I think it was Donald McGavran who said that the trouble with most Christians and churches is that we are busy doing things we should do but at the expense of the one thing we must do.

There have not been many occasions when I have consciously felt myself “under attack” spiritually.  One such occasion happened when, as a young man, I was in training as an evangelist and earning a living in a small government office.  I had taken ten days holiday from work in order to take part in a mission.  While I was away, some vital documents were found to be missing.  They were urgently needed for a tribunal hearing.  On the day I returned, I was summoned to the bosses office where I was falsely accused of failing in my duties by using the time for which I was employed to do Christian work.  I was only a temporary clerical assistant, and was warned to expect to be made redundant that afternoon when the Area Staff Officer visited.

Paralysed with fear, I made my way back to the General Office, where several colleagues worked.  On my way I felt God was telling me to look at the text at the top of the personal advertisements column in the Daily Telegraph.  I asked a friend if I could look it up in his paper.  When I read it I laughed out loud.  I read, “They will fight against you, but will not prevail against you, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord”.  That afternoon when the Staff Officer came to my office, I was offered a permanent position in the Civil Service and an opportunity of significant advancement!

Sometimes, I have sensed that a church or an aspect of church life has been the object of spiritual hostility.  Such an occasion came when members of the church, where I was at that time the minister, found that an employee in the College they had founded was acting against them.  Business skills were not their strong point and they felt helpless at the mercy of this woman.  At the church prayer meeting that evening I took a reel of cotton and asked people to securely bind my hands with many threads.  I had never done anything like this before.  We then prayed for some time that God would bind the hands of all that opposed the work they had set up as a mission.  I then asked people to cut the threads, which they did.  We prayed that God would set our friends and their ministry free.  Very soon after this. our friends nightmare ended as the woman resigned and immediately left.

The power of prayer is awesome.

At present there are two situations that affect me in which, it feels as if spiritual forces are at work.  I am not at liberty to describe these situations.  Neither immediately relate to our ministry, but they are certainly distracting.  If I am not careful I could be thrown off balance.  One involves a stubborn woman fighting against steps that could make her life easier; the other a man who has assumed unconstitutional authority in a church, causing disruptions.  In both of these separate situations, attempts have been made at the human level to resolve the problems, but the problems persist.

I am not implying that there is something implicitly wrong with the people concerned.  But I wonder if there is some power at work behind these situations.  We should not be surprised to find ourselves in difficult situations occasionally.  Sometimes these are of our own making!  But sometimes they are the result of spiritual schemes intended to throw us off balance or pin us down.

As we stand, will you please stand with us, and pray as you feel led.

Thank you.

Barry

23rd November 2017

From the Diary

It was good to be able to take a few days break last week.  Doreen was able to spend time with her sister  in Kent, while I visited another member of the family in Sussex.

Sunday 26th - Family Service, Goodwood Evangelical Church, Leicester.  Please pray too for the minister and members of Harborough Congregational Church (where I am a member) as they will be on retreat (hopefully advancing!)

Monday 27th -  School Assembly. Give thanks for a good session earlier this week as we considered ‘reconciliation’. The theme for 27th is learning to be wise.

Tuesday 28th  - Please pray for a consultation about rural resource churches.  I am not able to attend but think this is significant.  It is almost entirely Anglican.  I will be working at HMP Gartree.

Thursday 30th - Please pray for a meeting I will be involved in which will call for both wisdom and grace.

Friday 1st December - I will be sharing in a meeting considering the future of a Methodist village church that has seriously declined in members.  Again, pray for wisdom.

Please also give thanks for two donations received recently for Rural Mission Solutions from churches where I have ministered in the past.  Please pray that as our accounts close on 31st December, all costs will be covered so we can start 2018 with an adequate balance in the funds.

Slitting Up?

Sorry if I alarmed you!
The splitting only refers to the content of this issue.  However, if it grabbed your attention, perhaps that was no bad thing.  There are four matters to which I wish to draw your attention.

Making Time to ChatSome of these men were strangers when they sat down. But clearly, they were all enjoying a

good chat.  If you walk around Market Harborough most days, you will find a scene like this.  Some people choose to sit down on a bench simply because they long for company to cure their loneliness or to break the boredom

Last Sunday I made an excuse to eat a satsuma while leading the morning service.  As I peeled it I reminded people of a regular article that used to appear in Readers Digest about unforgettable people.  I asked them to think of one person who has been significant in their life (from school, work, neighbours, etc).  By the time I has finished speaking, I had one of the pieces of the satsuma in my mouth, and told them it was too delicious to keep to myself.

Soon people were enjoying sharing the fruit, but many others had missed out.  Fortunately, I had

another 14 satsumas tucked under the lectern.  So, I passed them out encouraging people to peel and share them.  When the bag was empty I encouraged people to cluster in two or threes and for one in the cluster to talk about the person they had thought of.  The conversations buzzed for two minutes.

No one found what had happened embarrassing and all who had shred a satsuma or spoken about someone they knew, said they enjoyed doing so. Knowing Jesus is a wonderful thing and,

while we might not feel we could answer every question someone might ask, we could chat about Jesus.  It might not be as scary as we fear.  We concluded the service with a prayer that God would give each member of the congregation an opportunity to say something to someone the following week.

Why not pray that too? In fact, you could pray for at least one short chat a day.  But please don't preach or start quoting the Bible.  Just tell someone what Jesus means to you in your everyday life.

Growing a YouTube Audience
This is topic number two.  During the past week, my friend and colleague, Capt Gordon Banks, and I repeated the webinar on Mission Ideas and Resources for Christmas and the Winter Months.  It is full of super manageable ideas, plus plenty of links to free or low-cost resources that could add much to your Christmas and winter programme.  Of course, it can be seen on our website.

We have also been quietly building a YouTube Channel, where you will find other helpful

videos. In addition to the Webinar videos, we plan to add a series of short videos to help rural Christians and churches to share in God's mission in rural UK.  Increasingly, when people wish to learn something, they look online.

If you click the picture on the left, it will take you to the YouTube channel. Once you get to the YouTube channel, please click 'subscribe.'  There is nothing to pay, but in this way you will receive notification each time we add another video.  If you watch a video and find it helpful, remember to 'Like' it.

Topic number three is a hymn that I suddenly found myself singing while walking down a road this week.  It is many years since I last sang this, and I have been pondering the words carefully.  The theme is thankfulness. both in times of blessing and suffering.  The author, Adelaide Anne Procter was a friend of Charles Dicken, Arthur Sullivan, and many other notable people.  She was Queen Victoria's favourite poet.  As a committed Christian, much of her life was spent helping many of the most vulnerable in society.  She died aged 38.  Dickens was convinced it was her selfless and tireless Christian work that broke her health.  At one time she suffered deep emotional pain.

The hymn is, "My God, I thank Thee".  There is insufficient room here to include all the verses,

but I will put them on my Facebook Page.  One verse goes, "I thank Thee more, that all my joy, is touched with pain; that shadows fall on brightest hours, that thorns remain; so that earth's bliss may be my guide, and not my chain.". The last verse reads, "I thank Thee Lord, that here our souls, though amply blest, can never find, although they seek, a perfect rest.  Nor ever shall, until they lean, on Jesus' breast".  The hymn goes beautifully to the tune, Wentworth.

I feared that this profound hymn might have been lost when more contemporary hymnbooks were published.  But I am delighted to see that it is 471 in Mission Praise!  It should be sung slowly and thoughtfully.  I hope it blesses you.

Barry
10th October 2017

Sunday 12th - HMP Gartree, leading the Remembrance Service
Monday 13th - School Assembly, Lubenham, Leics.
Tuesday 14th - HMP Gartree, preparing for Christmas
Wednesday to Sunday 19th - in Kent and Sussex for a short break

What's the point of Forgiving?

In the immediate previous posting I shared something of my experience of abuse in a Christian context.  I am grateful for the messages of appreciation and encouragement.  It is indeed never easy to write or talk about such things, but we make our churches safer and better by facing the dangers and minimising the risks.

When someone finds the courage to speak out about an experience of sexual abuse (and there are significant numbers who have suffered), if they do this in a Christian context, the most common response from the person hearing what is, for them, a difficult story, is to ask if the abused person has forgiven their abuser.  This contrasts with the response in a secular context, which usually focuses more on holding the abuser to account.    But asking if the abused has forgiven the abuser is just about the worst thing anyone could do.

Of course, forgiving is an important aspect of Christianity, but far too often the topic is broached with significant misunderstanding of what it is and how it works.  It has become perceived as a good thing to do, or the right thing to do, but without theological and biblical reflection.  The consequence of this where they have not completely forgiven, is to have an additional and false sense of guilt laid upon themselves.  What they need is to be listened to, understood, loved and supported.

It is common for sexual abusers (and other kinds of abusers) to apportion responsibility or blame on the person who has been abused.  “It was your fault for wearing that skirt or that top” etc.  Indeed, people who have been abused typically carry some uncertainty as to whether, at least to some extent, they carry some responsibility.  In some situations of abuse, the victim might experience an orgasm, leaving the victim confused.  It is vital to be clear that in any such situation, where fear, force, favours, or false information is used, it is not consensual.  Of course, there are other factors that determine sexual abuse, such as the age or competence of the victim.  In my experience in talking with people who have been abused I have always found the abusers to be manipulative.  They must accept total responsibility.

The Bible teaches us that while God loves unconditionally, he does not forgive unconditionally.  Nor does he expect other people to do so.  In responding to Peter’s question about how many times he was expected to forgive a person who sinned against him, Jesus firstly makes clear that a willingness to forgive should always be there, BUT he then tells an interesting parable.  In this story, a man owes an enormous debt.  He asks for time to pay the debt, but the creditor generously cancels the debt entirely.  Sadly, that man then goes to someone who owes him a relatively small amount. This man also asks for time to pay.  But the man who has just been forgiven an enormous debt attacks him physically and has him thrown into a debtors’ jail.

This is one of the most disturbing parables Jesus told.  It continues that the man who was owed the original extremely large amount hears about what has happened and reinstates the debt.  Then Jesus adds, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.’  While I don’t think that this is commentary on salvation, it does teach an important lesson about forgiveness that resonates with other passages of scripture including what we call the Lord’s Prayer.  Our indebtedness needs to be humbly acknowledged, and grace should be embraced with deep gratitude, demonstrated through a changed life.  If we know ourselves to have been forgiven, the grace that brought forgiveness to us should overflow towards others.

One of the things I draw from that parable is the two-fold aspect for the transaction of forgiveness.  It is impossible for anyone to be truly forgiven if they have not accepted responsibility for the sin, and then humbly accepted the offer of forgiveness made.  In saying that we forgive someone who has not accepted culpability, we may make ourselves feel better by letting go of any bitterness and resentment.  But we have only offered forgiveness.  The guilty party has not been forgiven because there has been no acknowledgement of need.

1John 1:9 tells us that it is when we confess our sin [to God] that he is faithful and just to forgive our sin.

Jesus also taught about the need for accountability and repentance (i.e. a complete change of attitude).  Verses 15 -17 of the same chapter as the parable, addresses the issue of accountability for sin and the need for judgement by the church.  Holding people to account and issues of justice are just as important as mercy. 

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

Twice I told my abuser that I had forgiven him, but that if I ever found out he had done the same things to another I would blow the whistle.  I only saw what happened to me as “inappropriate”, and it was many years later that I discovered it was a criminal offence.  But this was only after I had learned that he had abused another person.  Did my failure to hold him to account contribute to subsequent abuse?  I did what I could back then.  Now wiser and better informed, I would have gone straight to the police.

When forgiveness is offered by nice people to bad people there are risks.  Firstly, not holding the person to account leaves him (or her) feeling they have got away with it.  Secondly, it leaves other people at risk from repeated wrong actions.  Thirdly, it delays closure for the victim.  Even though they may have found some blessing in offering forgiveness, the transaction and healing is not complete.  The victim needs to hear the words, “I am to blame, and I am sorry.”  If this said with sincerity, the forgiveness loop is closed.

So, what is the point of forgiveness?   It is not to make the forgiver feel better.  It is to release someone from the debt that is owed.  To give away forgiveness like sweeties without holding the guilty party to full account, fails to achieve the purpose of forgiveness.  It might make it possible.  But the offender remains accountable before God, and possibly society.  The purpose of forgiveness is to release someone from their debt.  Psalm 51 reveals David’s remorse for his actions.  In this psalm he acknowledges his sinful nature, his waywardness, and his deliberate transgression.  He casts himself upon the character of a holy God who has standards.  He acknowledges his dependence on God’s covenant love and mercy.  He also acknowledges that mercy cannot be bought with vast offerings, but that God looks for total contrition.  The psalm reveals true repentance as he seeks forgiveness and restoration.  I am sure that he found God’s forgiveness, but things were never the same for David after that.

Similarly, those who commit sexual abuse and seek forgiveness, should find that things are never the same. We best help repentant abusers when we create a healthy circle of accountability and set up a manageable contract of behaviour.  A truly repentant offender will have no problems accepting that.

For my part, I have no anger or bitterness for what happened to me.  I have been able to use what happened to help others and to help create safer churches.  My part of the forgiveness contract is on the table, and I long for the evidence that the offender is ready to receive it.

Barry Osborne
3^rd November 2017

It Could Never Happen Here

Most weeks when I come to write the Praise & Prayer News I know what the topic should be several days before.  It is therefore very encouraging to receive, so often, feedback telling me how apposite the contents proved.  On this occasion I have been staring at a blank sheet for several days.  Inspiration seemed to be absent.  But more recently, I have begun to feel that the topic had been given me and that I was too reluctant to recognise it.

I am indeed reluctant to write on this occasion, but since slowly waking up to the idea, I have had a growing urge to put fingers to keyboard.  So, here goes.

It is probable that you already know that several times a year I teach on a Safeguarding Course run by the Salvation Army.  The Army has an excellent programme that covers all their officers, cadets in training, and employees.  It’s a privilege to contribute to it.  I have also provided content for the Baptist Union and the Congregational Federation  My title for the Salvation Army sessions (taught through one day,) is how abuse can happen in a Christian context.

Sexual abuse has cast a direct shadow over my life on three occasion.  The first occasion was when I was about ten and was accosted  by a paedophile in a park.  That led to a very embarrassing interview with a mice female police officer.  The last experience was as a foster father of a teenage by with special needs.  Back then, we were less conversant with the right way to handle these situations.  I thought that confronting him and warning him would be adequate.  It wasn’t, and one day Doreen and I had a phone call from an officer from the Metropolitan Police, informing us he and colleagues were on their way to interview our foster son.  The man was part of a large paedophile ring and he had targeted a number of vulnerable children at a school for children with special needs.

In between these two occasions, I was a victim of sexual abuse within a Christian context, and my work with the Salvation Army, and others, is based on learning from that experience.  Over recent years the topic of sexual abuse has hardly been out of the news as stories have emerged about pop stars, comedians,  sports personalities, and more recently a film producer.  Along the way there have been far too many church-related stories and some denominations have found themselves under the glare of the media.

Despite all of these stories, I find far too often, churches and Christian organisations that take a “It could never happen here” attitude.  That is why I am glad, no matter how painful, to share my experience as a teaching tool.  It can, and does happen where it should never happen.  That includes churches and Christian organisations.  I first began to understand the nature of abuse, how to provide appropriate pastoral support for past victims, and how to manage allegedly repentant abusers, when I was invited to research and help write a book.  Time for Action remains probably the most helpful book on the topic.  After that I was part of a team writing a report for the Anglican House of Bishops.  Responding Well  is now a useful tool in the Church of England’s campaign to make their churches safer places.

What happened to me took place over time during the late sixties and early seventies.  For a long time I saw it as merely inappropriate behavior.  After I blew the whistle and was interviewed by the police I was shocked to learn that it was criminal.  The only reason I blew the whistle was that I had discovered that several others in the organisation also had ‘inappropriate’ experiences from the man who was the head of the evangelistic organisation I had joined as a teenager.  In the research for Time for Action I had learned that committing sexual abuse is very often habitual, possibly addictive in nature.  I wanted to protect others, and was not seeking any punishment for the offender when I reported it.

The fact that the abuser had managed to abuse several within the organisation was largely down to misunderstanding about forgiveness.  Each abused person had declared that they forgave the man, who was never held to account.  We gave out forgiveness cheaply and unbiblically.  As a result the man continued to give in to his propensity unrestrained.

In teaching about this, I explain that there are three factors that can contribute to risk of sexual abuse.  These are the nature of the abuser, the nature of the abused, and the weaknesses of the organisational context where abuse has or could take place.  For any church or Christian organisation to be safe, all three need to be managed appropriately.

The man who abused me is a man who is obsessed with power.  He presented himself within the organisation and beyond to be a man with a special anointing from God, and endowed with considerable ministry gifts.  He certainly had a significant personality and was indeed a very gifted preacher and gospel singer.  He preached holiness, and ran the organization to exacting standards based on passages of scripture.  But behind the scenes, something dark was happening away from public gaze.  He was a co-founder of the organisation, but presented himself as the founder/director.  While the organisation initially had a managing committee and later a board of trustees, these were personally appointed by himself so he remained completely unaccountable.

After I had been in the organisation for perhaps a year, I and some of my peers (all in our teens) had discovered that in 1959 he had been disciplined within an Assemblies of God church for sexual misconduct.  When we confronted him about his, he admitted that he had a homosexual nature and asserted that God had made him that way, but he had never committed a homosexual act.  But he had his own definition of homosexual acts, that would not match the legal definition.  At the time when we spoke with him, and what he later did to me and others, homosexuality was not only frowned upon within Christian circles, it was a criminal offence.

He claimed that because he was sexually frustrated, and was in a constant battle to stay holy, this was what gave him his bad temper and other negative behavioural traits.  Further he claimed that God’s blessing on his ministry demonstrated that he was in a right relationship with God.  He claimed the offence for which he had been disciplined had been put right before God and no one had a right to bring it up.  We ended up feeling sorry for him.  Now, it seemed that the many flaws we saw in his character and behaviour were excusable.  With hindsight, he would be deemed to be an inappropriate person to lead an organisation and have charge of vulnerable people.

He was certainly a very gifted person.  He ran the organisation in a dictatorial style.  I was frequently called upon to sort out the crises he left in his wake.  But I felt that working in this organisation was where God wanted me to be.  Various prophetic utterances had confirmed this, and had warned that it was a difficult calling in which I would have to carry a back-bending burden.  My vulnerability related to my young age, my sexual ignorance and naivety, that I was too easily impressed, and that my spiritual guiding themes were love and forgiveness.  So I kept on loving what was often unlovely and forgiving what was wrong.

The primary organisational weakness was the lack of accountability for its leader.  This was ironic as the leader held everyone else accountable 24x7, controlling all we did with our time and demanding absolute commitment and obedience.  Much later, when maturity enabled me to have confidence to challenge what was unreasonable in his actions, this led to serious arguments, in which I was usually portrayed as the villain.

From the start, the nature of the organisation not only required of me total commitment and obedience, he also ensured that my church membership link was severed, and that my parents influence was reduced to almost nil.  There was no other person providing teaching and counselling in my life.  Worse still, I was treated as a man called by God to be his aid, somewhat like Timothy.  I drove him everywhere he went, provided secretarial and financial administration, calmed him down after bouts of temper, and, until I married, hardly left his side.  He told me that he was utterly dependent upon me.  What he might have said about me to others may well have been different.

Sexual abusers groom their victims.  They also groom other around and the situation to enable the abuse.  His role provided opportunity, but also gave him cover to get away unchallenged.  I do not see that you need to know details of the grooming process or the nature of the abuse committed.  But it is important to add something about forgiving.

When I teach about how abuse can happen in a church, I explain how I found myself caught up in something I hated and wanted desperately to be free from.  It was like a spiders web.  If I failed to allow his conduct to continue, he threatened to abandon Christian values and go headlong into a public ungodly behaviour.  When I eventually managed to break free, I confronted the founder and told him that I forgave him.  He made no response .  I also told him that I would blow the whistle if he ever did to another person what he had done to me.  Seventeen years later I received a formal report of similar behaviour and took action.

By then I had left the organisation but had continued to share in ministry in a local church.  Neither the trustees of the organisation nor the elders of the church were willing to take action to investigate what was then being denied by both the abuser and the abused. Consequently, nothing was done at that time, and it was several years later when I reported everything to the police.  Meanwhile I had collected several other testimonies relating to sexual misconduct.  On each occasion he had ‘been forgiven’.

He was arrested, charged, tried and sentenced to two years in prison.  The irony was that on the charges relating to what he did to me he was found not guilty, but on similar charges relating to the more recent incidents he was found guilty.  Throughout that process I received hate mail, and was accused of destroying God’s work.

Sexual abusers, not only fulfil their fantasies, they often exploit the normal sexuality of their victims.  They are usually manipulative and will create a sense of dependency if they can.  They leave people with scars that might never heal.  I still offer forgiveness to him conditional upon true repentance, but have yet to hear my abuser admit his guilt or apologise to me or the several others he abused.

I have learned that anyone could become an abuser and that anyone could become a victim.  It could happen in your church or a Christian organisation.  The abuser might give every sign of being a good Christian but watch out for unusual close relationships with anyone with a weaker personality.  Abusers like to have control.  Ensure that everyone is kept as safe as possible.  Watch out for those who might be particularly vulnerable.  That’s not just the young or elderly.  We all become vulnerable from time to time.  Make sure that leaders are held to account and that good practise guidelines are being followed.  All who are likely to exercise influence over others need a DBS check (used to be a CRB certificate).

So, I have struggled through sharing how abuse happened within a Christian organisation where the gospel was preached and holiness taught , and where there was much fruitfulness.  It has been painful.  I am left wondering whether anyone will say that this is apposite for them.  Telling and hearing stories of sexual abuse is not easy.  If I have offended anyone, I am sorry.  I am surprised how often, in all kinds of situations, people who hear something of my story, afterwards share their own sad experiences.  I hear these far too often and also often from surprising people.

If you have a story to share but do not feel you have anyone you can talk with, please feel that you can trust me, but tell me you have had an abusive experience before you share any details.  I will listen carefully, but if you report what is essentially criminal - or even possibly criminal - the law may require me to report it.  But what is done in darkness needs to come into the light.  Ignoring what has been done does not bring healing.  Giving forgiveness where there has been no admission of responsibility on the part of the abuser just makes others vulnerable.  When abused people are able to find the courage to talk about what has happened it is making the world a safer place.

If the leaders/clergy of your church have never read Time for Action, it is published by Churches Together in Britain and Ireland, endorsed by all the main denominations in the UK, and I am one of the distributors.  Drop me a line.

I started this missive by stating that this was not going to be an easy thing to write.  It hasn’t been.  But I have a deep conviction that this is both right and the right time.  May I ask that you pray for those who read this and who have suffered their own hurt.

Thank you.

Barry Osborne

28th October 2017.

From the Diary

Monday 30th - School Assembly, Lubenham

Tuesday 31st - Safeguarding Teaching, Salvation Army College, London

Sunday 5th November - Market Harborough Congregational Church

Throughout this time I will be busy with administration and writing.

Good News is for Sharing

For the last few weeks I have felt that I should write some basic things about faith sharing in one of the Praise & Prayer Newsletters.  One of the greatest thrills a Christian can experience is leading another person into a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Many years ago I interviewed the UK’s premier evangelist at that time, a man called Eric Hutchings.  Eric played a significant part in brining Billy Graham to the UK.  He was the first evangelist broadcasting regularly on radio and led and preached in major missions across the country.

Eric was also a large man.  I have an enduring memory of having to help him out of the passenger seat of a mini!  As the interview progressed I asked him if he could remember the first time he led someone to the Lord.  His face lit up as he recalled the occasion, I think in Manchester, when the occasion had taken place late into the evening and he had missed the last bus home.  “Do you know,” he said laughing, “I was so elated that all the way home I skipped on and off the pavement like a little child,” 

Why is it so hard to get Christians to share their faith frequently?  Many have never done it.  Yet this is the one specific thing Jesus urges his disciples to do before he ascended back into heaven.  Imagine if Jesus turned up in your church next Sunday to ask how you were all getting on with the job!  I have heard many plausible excuses but I believe there is only one reason: we lack gospel passion.  If we truly loved our neighbours; if we had real compassion; and perhaps even if the gospel message had truly gripped our hearts, I don’t think we could stop ourselves from sharing the good news.  In my early days as an evangelist, I would never speak in a meeting without first reading Luke’s account of the crucifixion and the events leading up to it.

This Sunday morning, I felt urged to speak on this topic at Fleckney Baptist Church, Leicestershire.  This was how the service went.

After a simple introduction of my missional activities, especially working with small rural churches, and an opening prayer we sang “We want to see Jesus lifted up” (SoF957) . It had been chosen by one of the musicians in the church but was excellent in setting the foundation for the rest of the service.  I had set out two large sweet oranges and three small easy peelers on the table at the front of the church.  I picked on up and asked if the congregation would excuse me as I peeled it. As I did so I explained, quite honestly, that I had been suffering from a condition that sometimes made speaking difficult.  I told them that sometimes church can be like an orange or tangerine.  I asked the congregation what was great about tangerines.  All the usual answers came: they are easy to get into, usually sweeter than oranges, and less messy.

By now I slipped one piece into my mouth.  I told them it was so good I couldn’t keep it to myself, so I proceeded to offer it around.  Initial reluctance as more and more expressed how tasty it was.  Since only a few had the opportunity to enjoy the sweet seedless orange I was passing around, I gave another one to a woman and asked her to peel and share it.  By now, some were feeling they might miss out, so I asked who might like to try a small easy peeler, and passed out all three into eager hands.

I then gave the congregation two minutes to pair up and each talk about someone they knew who had impressed them in some way.  Soon there was a lot of eager chatter and even a lot of laughter as people shared their stories.  After this I asked if anyone had found it embarrassing or difficult. None had. They had enjoyed the pleasure of sharing in two ways.

This was followed by the telling dramatically how a young girl saved the life of a five-star general.  You know that Bible story, I’m sure.  The general was called Naaman and you can read the account in 2 Kings chapter 5. When I asked them afterwards who was the most important person in the story, two people thought it was Elisha, but the rest knew it was the little girl who shared her story.

We sang “Colours of Day” (SoF1038), after which the young people would normally have left.  But they chose to stay.

I reflected that most of us find it hardest to share the good news with our neighbour, and recited a challenging poem on that topic.  I told the congregation that I wanted to suggest four simple steps.  Of course, the Bible is not a handbook, so there is no one pattern for evangelism.  However, it does seem to me that these four steps are essential and biblical.  I suggested that these needed to be premised on the existence of some passion for the gospel and a longing that others might come to faith, quoting from Romans 10:1, and Paul before King Agrippa.

Step One is finding the opportunities.  I suggested that since God longs that all would come to the knowledge of the truth, the Holy Spirit is at work and we need to be sensitive to these ‘appointed’ opportunities.  This was illustrated with a Bible reading from John chapter 4 verses 1 to 15.  Here a weary and thirsty Jew asks a Samaritan woman for a drink.  This was culturally and religiously contrary to custom.  The man was Jesus.  The woman of somewhat doubtful character.  Jesus presented himself with humility and needy. No aggressive or assertive approach here.  The conversation, which led to a whole community acknowledging his as the Messiah, started naturally, on a topic with which she was familiar.

Step Two is sharing the story. This was illustrated by a reading from John chapter 9 verses 13 to 25.  Here we find a man, whose life has been so changed that his neighbours find it difficult to believe he is the same man they knew previously.  Questioned about what had happened to him, he is unable to respond helpfully to a theological question, and can only witness to what he had experienced.  So, no need to do a theology course before we begin to share our faith.  The gospel is about what God has done for us.  Sometimes cluttering it up with Bible quotes gets in the way of what people need to hear.

Step Three is encouraging a response.  I once led a mission in a church where the vicar had preached the gospel for 36 years but had never given an invitation for people to respond to the message.  After much encouragement, he gave an invitation for those who wished to respond and welcome Jesus into their lives, to come forward during the singing of a hymn.  As the hymn began, he moved to the alter rail and knelt in prayer.  When the hymn ended he was amazed to see the width of the chancel filled with people who had responded.

On the Day of Pentecost, Peter concluded his message by urging his listeners to act upon his message.  Three thousand people did.  Paul, writing to the Christians at Corinth, writes about being Christ’s ambassadors, pleading for people to be reconciled to God.  It is not our role to persuade people into faith, but we should never fail to provide encouragement to respond. [Rural Mission Solutions can help you with that].

Step Four is follow through.  Illustrated this with Paul’s three years ministry at Ephesus where he had discipled the believers, teaching them each day.

We followed the talk by singing “One shall tell another” (SoF541), and the invitation in the refrain to “Come on in and taste the new wine of the kingdom of God” led us around the communion table and an opportunity for fresh surrender to God’s purposes in and through our lives.

The service ended with,” Go forth and tell”(SoF 178).

I share the story here in the hope that you will find it helpful to reflect that sharing something delicious is a joy, as is talking about someone who has made a difference in our lives.  It really isn’t that hard.  Over 300 people will read this in its email form and many more on the blog.  If we all try to put it into practise, who knows how many new Christians there might be by next week.  You might even find yourself skipping on and off the pavement like a little child!

Barry

From the Diary

There have been lots of blessings in the past 8 days.  Please pray for all who have responded to God’s word in any way.

Monday 16th October – School Assembly, Lubenham, Leics.

Tuesday 17^th/Wednesday 18^th – Germinate Listening Event, preparing for a major conference in 2018, Warwicks.

Thursday 19^th Churches Group for Evangelization (London)

Saturday 21^st with Capt Gordon Banks, presenting the 45-minute webinar on Mission Ideas and Resources for Christmas and the Winter Months.  Please do your best to attend from your home.  It runs from 9.00 to 9.45am.  You need to register in order to get a special link for your computer.  No travel needed; you can even attend in your pyjamas with a cup of coffee to hand!  No church is too small to benefit from this presentation.  To find out more go to www.ruralmissionsolutions.org.uk.