It Could Never Happen Here

Most weeks when I come to write the Praise & Prayer News I know what the topic should be several days before.  It is therefore very encouraging to receive, so often, feedback telling me how apposite the contents proved.  On this occasion I have been staring at a blank sheet for several days.  Inspiration seemed to be absent.  But more recently, I have begun to feel that the topic had been given me and that I was too reluctant to recognise it.

I am indeed reluctant to write on this occasion, but since slowly waking up to the idea, I have had a growing urge to put fingers to keyboard.  So, here goes.

It is probable that you already know that several times a year I teach on a Safeguarding Course run by the Salvation Army.  The Army has an excellent programme that covers all their officers, cadets in training, and employees.  It’s a privilege to contribute to it.  I have also provided content for the Baptist Union and the Congregational Federation  My title for the Salvation Army sessions (taught through one day,) is how abuse can happen in a Christian context.

Sexual abuse has cast a direct shadow over my life on three occasion.  The first occasion was when I was about ten and was accosted  by a paedophile in a park.  That led to a very embarrassing interview with a mice female police officer.  The last experience was as a foster father of a teenage by with special needs.  Back then, we were less conversant with the right way to handle these situations.  I thought that confronting him and warning him would be adequate.  It wasn’t, and one day Doreen and I had a phone call from an officer from the Metropolitan Police, informing us he and colleagues were on their way to interview our foster son.  The man was part of a large paedophile ring and he had targeted a number of vulnerable children at a school for children with special needs.

In between these two occasions, I was a victim of sexual abuse within a Christian context, and my work with the Salvation Army, and others, is based on learning from that experience.  Over recent years the topic of sexual abuse has hardly been out of the news as stories have emerged about pop stars, comedians,  sports personalities, and more recently a film producer.  Along the way there have been far too many church-related stories and some denominations have found themselves under the glare of the media.

Despite all of these stories, I find far too often, churches and Christian organisations that take a “It could never happen here” attitude.  That is why I am glad, no matter how painful, to share my experience as a teaching tool.  It can, and does happen where it should never happen.  That includes churches and Christian organisations.  I first began to understand the nature of abuse, how to provide appropriate pastoral support for past victims, and how to manage allegedly repentant abusers, when I was invited to research and help write a book.  Time for Action remains probably the most helpful book on the topic.  After that I was part of a team writing a report for the Anglican House of Bishops.  Responding Well  is now a useful tool in the Church of England’s campaign to make their churches safer places.

What happened to me took place over time during the late sixties and early seventies.  For a long time I saw it as merely inappropriate behavior.  After I blew the whistle and was interviewed by the police I was shocked to learn that it was criminal.  The only reason I blew the whistle was that I had discovered that several others in the organisation also had ‘inappropriate’ experiences from the man who was the head of the evangelistic organisation I had joined as a teenager.  In the research for Time for Action I had learned that committing sexual abuse is very often habitual, possibly addictive in nature.  I wanted to protect others, and was not seeking any punishment for the offender when I reported it.

The fact that the abuser had managed to abuse several within the organisation was largely down to misunderstanding about forgiveness.  Each abused person had declared that they forgave the man, who was never held to account.  We gave out forgiveness cheaply and unbiblically.  As a result the man continued to give in to his propensity unrestrained.

In teaching about this, I explain that there are three factors that can contribute to risk of sexual abuse.  These are the nature of the abuser, the nature of the abused, and the weaknesses of the organisational context where abuse has or could take place.  For any church or Christian organisation to be safe, all three need to be managed appropriately.

The man who abused me is a man who is obsessed with power.  He presented himself within the organisation and beyond to be a man with a special anointing from God, and endowed with considerable ministry gifts.  He certainly had a significant personality and was indeed a very gifted preacher and gospel singer.  He preached holiness, and ran the organization to exacting standards based on passages of scripture.  But behind the scenes, something dark was happening away from public gaze.  He was a co-founder of the organisation, but presented himself as the founder/director.  While the organisation initially had a managing committee and later a board of trustees, these were personally appointed by himself so he remained completely unaccountable.

After I had been in the organisation for perhaps a year, I and some of my peers (all in our teens) had discovered that in 1959 he had been disciplined within an Assemblies of God church for sexual misconduct.  When we confronted him about his, he admitted that he had a homosexual nature and asserted that God had made him that way, but he had never committed a homosexual act.  But he had his own definition of homosexual acts, that would not match the legal definition.  At the time when we spoke with him, and what he later did to me and others, homosexuality was not only frowned upon within Christian circles, it was a criminal offence.

He claimed that because he was sexually frustrated, and was in a constant battle to stay holy, this was what gave him his bad temper and other negative behavioural traits.  Further he claimed that God’s blessing on his ministry demonstrated that he was in a right relationship with God.  He claimed the offence for which he had been disciplined had been put right before God and no one had a right to bring it up.  We ended up feeling sorry for him.  Now, it seemed that the many flaws we saw in his character and behaviour were excusable.  With hindsight, he would be deemed to be an inappropriate person to lead an organisation and have charge of vulnerable people.

He was certainly a very gifted person.  He ran the organisation in a dictatorial style.  I was frequently called upon to sort out the crises he left in his wake.  But I felt that working in this organisation was where God wanted me to be.  Various prophetic utterances had confirmed this, and had warned that it was a difficult calling in which I would have to carry a back-bending burden.  My vulnerability related to my young age, my sexual ignorance and naivety, that I was too easily impressed, and that my spiritual guiding themes were love and forgiveness.  So I kept on loving what was often unlovely and forgiving what was wrong.

The primary organisational weakness was the lack of accountability for its leader.  This was ironic as the leader held everyone else accountable 24x7, controlling all we did with our time and demanding absolute commitment and obedience.  Much later, when maturity enabled me to have confidence to challenge what was unreasonable in his actions, this led to serious arguments, in which I was usually portrayed as the villain.

From the start, the nature of the organisation not only required of me total commitment and obedience, he also ensured that my church membership link was severed, and that my parents influence was reduced to almost nil.  There was no other person providing teaching and counselling in my life.  Worse still, I was treated as a man called by God to be his aid, somewhat like Timothy.  I drove him everywhere he went, provided secretarial and financial administration, calmed him down after bouts of temper, and, until I married, hardly left his side.  He told me that he was utterly dependent upon me.  What he might have said about me to others may well have been different.

Sexual abusers groom their victims.  They also groom other around and the situation to enable the abuse.  His role provided opportunity, but also gave him cover to get away unchallenged.  I do not see that you need to know details of the grooming process or the nature of the abuse committed.  But it is important to add something about forgiving.

When I teach about how abuse can happen in a church, I explain how I found myself caught up in something I hated and wanted desperately to be free from.  It was like a spiders web.  If I failed to allow his conduct to continue, he threatened to abandon Christian values and go headlong into a public ungodly behaviour.  When I eventually managed to break free, I confronted the founder and told him that I forgave him.  He made no response .  I also told him that I would blow the whistle if he ever did to another person what he had done to me.  Seventeen years later I received a formal report of similar behaviour and took action.

By then I had left the organisation but had continued to share in ministry in a local church.  Neither the trustees of the organisation nor the elders of the church were willing to take action to investigate what was then being denied by both the abuser and the abused. Consequently, nothing was done at that time, and it was several years later when I reported everything to the police.  Meanwhile I had collected several other testimonies relating to sexual misconduct.  On each occasion he had ‘been forgiven’.

He was arrested, charged, tried and sentenced to two years in prison.  The irony was that on the charges relating to what he did to me he was found not guilty, but on similar charges relating to the more recent incidents he was found guilty.  Throughout that process I received hate mail, and was accused of destroying God’s work.

Sexual abusers, not only fulfil their fantasies, they often exploit the normal sexuality of their victims.  They are usually manipulative and will create a sense of dependency if they can.  They leave people with scars that might never heal.  I still offer forgiveness to him conditional upon true repentance, but have yet to hear my abuser admit his guilt or apologise to me or the several others he abused.

I have learned that anyone could become an abuser and that anyone could become a victim.  It could happen in your church or a Christian organisation.  The abuser might give every sign of being a good Christian but watch out for unusual close relationships with anyone with a weaker personality.  Abusers like to have control.  Ensure that everyone is kept as safe as possible.  Watch out for those who might be particularly vulnerable.  That’s not just the young or elderly.  We all become vulnerable from time to time.  Make sure that leaders are held to account and that good practise guidelines are being followed.  All who are likely to exercise influence over others need a DBS check (used to be a CRB certificate).

So, I have struggled through sharing how abuse happened within a Christian organisation where the gospel was preached and holiness taught , and where there was much fruitfulness.  It has been painful.  I am left wondering whether anyone will say that this is apposite for them.  Telling and hearing stories of sexual abuse is not easy.  If I have offended anyone, I am sorry.  I am surprised how often, in all kinds of situations, people who hear something of my story, afterwards share their own sad experiences.  I hear these far too often and also often from surprising people.

If you have a story to share but do not feel you have anyone you can talk with, please feel that you can trust me, but tell me you have had an abusive experience before you share any details.  I will listen carefully, but if you report what is essentially criminal - or even possibly criminal - the law may require me to report it.  But what is done in darkness needs to come into the light.  Ignoring what has been done does not bring healing.  Giving forgiveness where there has been no admission of responsibility on the part of the abuser just makes others vulnerable.  When abused people are able to find the courage to talk about what has happened it is making the world a safer place.

If the leaders/clergy of your church have never read Time for Action, it is published by Churches Together in Britain and Ireland, endorsed by all the main denominations in the UK, and I am one of the distributors.  Drop me a line.

I started this missive by stating that this was not going to be an easy thing to write.  It hasn’t been.  But I have a deep conviction that this is both right and the right time.  May I ask that you pray for those who read this and who have suffered their own hurt.

Thank you.

Barry Osborne

28th October 2017.

From the Diary

Monday 30th - School Assembly, Lubenham

Tuesday 31st - Safeguarding Teaching, Salvation Army College, London

Sunday 5th November - Market Harborough Congregational Church

Throughout this time I will be busy with administration and writing.

Good News is for Sharing

For the last few weeks I have felt that I should write some basic things about faith sharing in one of the Praise & Prayer Newsletters.  One of the greatest thrills a Christian can experience is leading another person into a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Many years ago I interviewed the UK’s premier evangelist at that time, a man called Eric Hutchings.  Eric played a significant part in brining Billy Graham to the UK.  He was the first evangelist broadcasting regularly on radio and led and preached in major missions across the country.

Eric was also a large man.  I have an enduring memory of having to help him out of the passenger seat of a mini!  As the interview progressed I asked him if he could remember the first time he led someone to the Lord.  His face lit up as he recalled the occasion, I think in Manchester, when the occasion had taken place late into the evening and he had missed the last bus home.  “Do you know,” he said laughing, “I was so elated that all the way home I skipped on and off the pavement like a little child,” 

Why is it so hard to get Christians to share their faith frequently?  Many have never done it.  Yet this is the one specific thing Jesus urges his disciples to do before he ascended back into heaven.  Imagine if Jesus turned up in your church next Sunday to ask how you were all getting on with the job!  I have heard many plausible excuses but I believe there is only one reason: we lack gospel passion.  If we truly loved our neighbours; if we had real compassion; and perhaps even if the gospel message had truly gripped our hearts, I don’t think we could stop ourselves from sharing the good news.  In my early days as an evangelist, I would never speak in a meeting without first reading Luke’s account of the crucifixion and the events leading up to it.

This Sunday morning, I felt urged to speak on this topic at Fleckney Baptist Church, Leicestershire.  This was how the service went.

After a simple introduction of my missional activities, especially working with small rural churches, and an opening prayer we sang “We want to see Jesus lifted up” (SoF957) . It had been chosen by one of the musicians in the church but was excellent in setting the foundation for the rest of the service.  I had set out two large sweet oranges and three small easy peelers on the table at the front of the church.  I picked on up and asked if the congregation would excuse me as I peeled it. As I did so I explained, quite honestly, that I had been suffering from a condition that sometimes made speaking difficult.  I told them that sometimes church can be like an orange or tangerine.  I asked the congregation what was great about tangerines.  All the usual answers came: they are easy to get into, usually sweeter than oranges, and less messy.

By now I slipped one piece into my mouth.  I told them it was so good I couldn’t keep it to myself, so I proceeded to offer it around.  Initial reluctance as more and more expressed how tasty it was.  Since only a few had the opportunity to enjoy the sweet seedless orange I was passing around, I gave another one to a woman and asked her to peel and share it.  By now, some were feeling they might miss out, so I asked who might like to try a small easy peeler, and passed out all three into eager hands.

I then gave the congregation two minutes to pair up and each talk about someone they knew who had impressed them in some way.  Soon there was a lot of eager chatter and even a lot of laughter as people shared their stories.  After this I asked if anyone had found it embarrassing or difficult. None had. They had enjoyed the pleasure of sharing in two ways.

This was followed by the telling dramatically how a young girl saved the life of a five-star general.  You know that Bible story, I’m sure.  The general was called Naaman and you can read the account in 2 Kings chapter 5. When I asked them afterwards who was the most important person in the story, two people thought it was Elisha, but the rest knew it was the little girl who shared her story.

We sang “Colours of Day” (SoF1038), after which the young people would normally have left.  But they chose to stay.

I reflected that most of us find it hardest to share the good news with our neighbour, and recited a challenging poem on that topic.  I told the congregation that I wanted to suggest four simple steps.  Of course, the Bible is not a handbook, so there is no one pattern for evangelism.  However, it does seem to me that these four steps are essential and biblical.  I suggested that these needed to be premised on the existence of some passion for the gospel and a longing that others might come to faith, quoting from Romans 10:1, and Paul before King Agrippa.

Step One is finding the opportunities.  I suggested that since God longs that all would come to the knowledge of the truth, the Holy Spirit is at work and we need to be sensitive to these ‘appointed’ opportunities.  This was illustrated with a Bible reading from John chapter 4 verses 1 to 15.  Here a weary and thirsty Jew asks a Samaritan woman for a drink.  This was culturally and religiously contrary to custom.  The man was Jesus.  The woman of somewhat doubtful character.  Jesus presented himself with humility and needy. No aggressive or assertive approach here.  The conversation, which led to a whole community acknowledging his as the Messiah, started naturally, on a topic with which she was familiar.

Step Two is sharing the story. This was illustrated by a reading from John chapter 9 verses 13 to 25.  Here we find a man, whose life has been so changed that his neighbours find it difficult to believe he is the same man they knew previously.  Questioned about what had happened to him, he is unable to respond helpfully to a theological question, and can only witness to what he had experienced.  So, no need to do a theology course before we begin to share our faith.  The gospel is about what God has done for us.  Sometimes cluttering it up with Bible quotes gets in the way of what people need to hear.

Step Three is encouraging a response.  I once led a mission in a church where the vicar had preached the gospel for 36 years but had never given an invitation for people to respond to the message.  After much encouragement, he gave an invitation for those who wished to respond and welcome Jesus into their lives, to come forward during the singing of a hymn.  As the hymn began, he moved to the alter rail and knelt in prayer.  When the hymn ended he was amazed to see the width of the chancel filled with people who had responded.

On the Day of Pentecost, Peter concluded his message by urging his listeners to act upon his message.  Three thousand people did.  Paul, writing to the Christians at Corinth, writes about being Christ’s ambassadors, pleading for people to be reconciled to God.  It is not our role to persuade people into faith, but we should never fail to provide encouragement to respond. [Rural Mission Solutions can help you with that].

Step Four is follow through.  Illustrated this with Paul’s three years ministry at Ephesus where he had discipled the believers, teaching them each day.

We followed the talk by singing “One shall tell another” (SoF541), and the invitation in the refrain to “Come on in and taste the new wine of the kingdom of God” led us around the communion table and an opportunity for fresh surrender to God’s purposes in and through our lives.

The service ended with,” Go forth and tell”(SoF 178).

I share the story here in the hope that you will find it helpful to reflect that sharing something delicious is a joy, as is talking about someone who has made a difference in our lives.  It really isn’t that hard.  Over 300 people will read this in its email form and many more on the blog.  If we all try to put it into practise, who knows how many new Christians there might be by next week.  You might even find yourself skipping on and off the pavement like a little child!

Barry

From the Diary

There have been lots of blessings in the past 8 days.  Please pray for all who have responded to God’s word in any way.

Monday 16th October – School Assembly, Lubenham, Leics.

Tuesday 17^th/Wednesday 18^th – Germinate Listening Event, preparing for a major conference in 2018, Warwicks.

Thursday 19^th Churches Group for Evangelization (London)

Saturday 21^st with Capt Gordon Banks, presenting the 45-minute webinar on Mission Ideas and Resources for Christmas and the Winter Months.  Please do your best to attend from your home.  It runs from 9.00 to 9.45am.  You need to register in order to get a special link for your computer.  No travel needed; you can even attend in your pyjamas with a cup of coffee to hand!  No church is too small to benefit from this presentation.  To find out more go to www.ruralmissionsolutions.org.uk.

Surprised by Visitors

During the past week, I suddenly found two applications on my computer I was not expecting.  It is possible that these had been bundled with a programme I did want to download, but I can’t be sure.  However, while neither was malicious, they were a nuisance and had to go.  A few clicks later and a bit of patience and they had gone.  The experience made me remember something I had written for a couple of magazines about how we respond to visitors at church.

Often churches have the words “All Welcome” on their outside noticeboards, but it is rare to find a church that has a good strategy in place for welcoming visitors.  Indeed, out of the many hundreds of churches I have visited over the years, only two seemed to have such a strategy.  In both situations, I felt more like a guest than a visitor, and that is the first point I would like to make.

Occasionally, visitors turn up on my doorstep, a little like the programmes I suddenly found running on my computer this morning.  They are unexpected and I probably have little or no interest in the purpose of their visit.  On other occasions, I find a friend who I am pleased to welcome.  I invite them in and do my best to make them feel welcome.  If they are wearing a top coat I usually offer to take that and hang it up for them.  I ask whether they might like some refreshment.  If they have travelled some distance I will ensure they know where the bathroom is and put them at ease if they need it.

If we had been watching TV or listening to some music, we turn it off so that they can become the focus of our attention.  We offer them a comfortable seat in an appropriate position.  By now they know that I am pleased to see them.  After their visit has ended I usually tell them what a delight it has been and welcome a further visit in the future.

How do you welcome visitors to your home, and how does that compare with welcoming visitors to your church?  My best welcome was received in a well-attended Baptist Church in rural Herefordshire.  I was greeted at the door by a man and woman who clearly had skills in hospitality.  They recognised me as a ‘stranger’ and politely enquired whether I was on holiday in the area.  The enquiry was gentle so I did not feel I was being interrogated.  Once I had explained the reason for my visit (it was research and I already had permission to take photos during the service), I was encouraged to sign their visitors book.  One of the two then took me to the inner door, pointing out the facilities along the way and informing me about the nature of the service, and coffee afterwards.

A man was stationed at the inner door, giving out hymn books.  As we approached I saw him reach for an information leaflet.  I was introduced by name to this man, who was also informed of the reason for my visit.  He asked whether I preferred to sit upstairs or downstairs.  I opted for upstairs for the better view of a baptism that would take place.  As he left his position to lead me upstairs, I noticed another person quietly take his place.

Upstairs I was introduced, again by name, to a family who welcomed me to sit with them.  All the way through the process there were warm handshakes and lots of smiles.  It made me feel appreciated and included.  It was clear to me that I had experienced the consequence of a good strategy.  The hospitality continued through the refreshments afterwards.

What a contrast to a typical welcome to church that visitors receive.  An unfriendly handshake (perhaps) with a few books thrust into the hand, and left to wander to find an appropriate place to sit!

The subject of welcome is included in one of the seminars we run through Rural Mission Solutions.  There is a recording of the webinar on the website and a free download document about a better welcome.  You will find various other suggestions in it.  The video is far from the best we produce.  I plan to replace this with an improved version and to create a video talk specifically about welcome.  Meanwhile, if you would like to look at the video or to download the resources CLICK HERE.

I encourage people to think ‘guest’ rather than ‘visitor’, and ‘hospitality’ rather than ‘welcome’.  If you can create a strategy, please think about using people who are naturally hospitable and good at looking after guests.  Why not include this as a topic for your Church Meeting or PCC, or encourage a small team to draft suggestions?

But there is always the risk of an unwelcome visitor arriving at church.  Paedophiles see churches as providing opportunity for their activities.  Please do not be paranoid about this.  If you have a well-trained safeguarding person in your church then include them in the discussion and planning about how you respond to visitors.  If you have a safeguarding certificate or poster, it is good practice to have this prominently on display.  That usually will warn off that kind of unwanted visitor.  Keeping an eye on behaviour is important.  A good guest respects their hosts.  Just as you would be shocked to find a visitor rummaging through cupboards or entering rooms without permission, often an inappropriate visitor will give themselves away by their behaviour.

Your welcome strategy needs appropriate management elements.

As a final word on the topic, I point you to the verse in the Bible that God used to draw me to himself.  It is in John 6:37 where Jesus says that whoever comes to him he would never turn away.  I came to him more as a visitor, but he welcomed me as a guest, and we became good friends.

From the Diary

I am taking advantage of a relatively quieter time in the diary, to catch up on some administration and do some writing.

Please pray as I explore ways for promoting the work of Rural Mission Solutions and building up the team and support base.  One of the areas of concern is our work to help rural churches develop effective and appropriate programmes to help children come to faith, grow in faith and find their place within God’s mission.

Sunday 24^th September Sunday Service at HMP Gartree, Leics.

Monday 25^th School Assembly, Lubenham, Leics.

Tuesday 26^th Regular work at HMP Gartree

Thursday 28^th Country Way Editorial Board Meeting

Sunday 30^th Joining others to plan an outreach project for a church in Northants.

Sunday 1^st October – Congregational Federation East Midlands Area Autumn Assembly

Thank you for your prayers, support and encouragement.

Barry – 23^rd September 2017

"Who's afraid of the..."

He was young and inexperienced.  Those who knew him best had no confidence in him, and mocked him.  To everyone else it looked an impossibility.  What he was up against was an enormous challenge.  It was a threatening situation, and no one else was willing to face it.  But the main thing he had going for him was that he trusted in God.

Many of those who regularly read what I write come from small churches facing difficulties and challenges.  There is little to encourage us humanly.  It is easy to be gripped by a fear of failing, so often we have low expectations and endeavour far too little.  We dream of what it might be like if only our congregation was twice the size it is and the average age two decades younger.  We are all too aware of what we lack when we consider the challenges that face us and the task before us.

You may have heard it said that if you think that you or your church are too small to be significant, then you probably have never spent a night in a room with a mosquito!

Did you realise who I was writing about in the opening paragraph? It was David, while still a young man.  Day after day, Goliath had shouted out his challenge, taunting the army of Israel.  Day after day, the strongest and best in Israel’s army shrank back from the challenge.  Perhaps this was personal fear of coming against such a huge man with such an arsenal of weapons.  Perhaps it was fear of failure.  Perhaps it was the awfulness of the consequences of failure.  Whatever it was it immobilised them.

Actually, apart from his confidence in God’s enabling him, David had several things going for him.  For a start, he was young and agile.  As long as he kept out of range he could probably avoid being hit by a spear.  He certainly was never going to put himself in range of Goliath’s sword.  Beside his spear, Goliath only had a short-range weapon, while David had a deadly medium range weapon which he could use with precision.  If it was an uneven contest, it was tilted in David’s favour.  Shepherds had plenty of time to hone their skill with a sling.  A typical stone might be the size and weight of a cricket ball, and would leave the sling at around 100 miles per hour.

David also had experience of past victories.  David testifies to past victories that encourage him to take on this latest challenge.  He had proved God to be faithful in past difficult times.

David was concerned for the honour of God’s name, and it was this that motivated him to volunteer.  David also had confidence in the power of God’s name, and it was in that name that he approached Goliath.  Frankly, Goliath never stood a chance!

Some years ago, I had the privilege of being one of two people representing churches in Europe in a conference on evangelism run by the World Council on Mission mainly for churches in Southeast Asia and the Pacific. During the week, each representative informed the others of their activities and outcomes.  We heard amazing things where Christians and churches experienced political opposition and oppression or where they were a minority faith surrounding by majority faith which sometimes were aggressive.  Despite all that opposed them they were bold in their witness of Jesus and were seeing conversions regularly.  My colleague from Holland and I were ashamed to share our story, where the only significant problem was to a post-Christian culture, but where apathy meant that so little was done by the churches to engage in evangelism.

Are we like the army of Israel; frozen in fear?  In these days when our faith is often ridiculed and few take us seriously, are we concerned for the honour of God’s name and therefore motivated to engage in Christian witness and missional activity.  Is it embarrassment or fear of failure that cause us to do so little?  Or could it possibly be that we have no confidence in God?

There is not one church that does not have the opportunity to do more for God.  In my experience, God piles these up faster than we could grasp them.  But surely, we could grasp at least one a week!  A man called David Wiiley wrote, “Too often, we miss out on opportunities in this life because we were too busy waiting for them to fall into our lap that we missed them tapping on our shoulder.”

Why not take some time each day this week to read afresh 1Samuel 17: 1-51, then, with the story fresh in your mind say, “And David’s God is my God”, then set yourself a missional task.

From the Diary

Last Sunday (13^th), Doreen and I went to Newark in Nottinghamshire where I took the morning meeting for London Road Congregational Church.  Several testified to God’s blessing that morning.

Monday to Friday (14^th – 18^th), I helped to lead “Holiday at Home” for the churches in Market Harborough.  This involved four half days of activities and more for older people in the community, many of whom would not normally have a decent holiday.  Those who came were effusive in their expressions of appreciation.  It is not an overtly evangelistic programme but another member of the team and I led a God spot each day and made clear why the programme had been arranged, and we shared the gospel on each occasion.

Saturday 19^th, I shared in a team meeting offering mission support for 32 churches in the East Midlands.  It was good to be able to share encouraging news and build plans for the future.

Sunday 20^th, Welby Lane Evangelical Church, Melton Mowbray.

Monday 21^st, I will share in a meeting in Market Harborough exploring how to make church more inviting.  Afterwards I plan to go to Leicester for a workshop on crowd-funding.

Tuesday 22^nd, HMP Gartree.  Please pray for the men I will meet with, and that my security clearance will be updated soon.

Thursday 24^th, I will be chairing a meeting for a small rural church with a historic building with a thatched roof in urgent need of repair.

25^th to 27^th – A free weekend!

Please keep praying.  Each day I am likely to be involved in writing or responding to phone calls to support rural evangelism.  Please pray for our financial needs in Rural Mission Solutions as recent changes to our bank have disrupted our already limited income.  Rural Mission is certainly a forgotten mission field, and we urgently need to grow our prayer base and supporter network.

Finally, if you find these Prayer & Praise News helpful in any way, please drop me a line at barry@ruralmissions.org.uk or post to The Centre for Rural Mission, 4 Clarence Street, Market Harborough, LE16 7NE.  Recently, some postings have led to people asking if they can use what I write in the context of their own ministry.  The answer is, “Of course”, but it is encouraging to know that it is valued by the readers.

Thanks for reading this.  Remember, David’s God is your God too.

Barry

19th August 2017

Not what I expected!

Recently, 250,000 people attended the IAAF World Athletics Championships hoping to see Usain Bolt break the record for the 100m or at least finish ahead of the pack.  But it was not what they expected.  Bolt came in third.  The race was won by a man who had twice been banned because of using drugs to enhance his performance.  Many in that crowd gave expression to their feelings by booing Justin Gattin.  It was not what they expected.

If you read fiction or watch drama programmes, do you find yourself automatically making presumptions about the final outcome?  Doreen and I certainly do that, and derive pleasure when we have guessed correctly.

When God offers us his love and mercy, and invites us to become followers of Jesus, it is easy to presume how the journey of faith will develop.  The same often happens in various chapters of our lives, as we pass through new or challenging experiences.  Too often we second-guess God, only to discover we got it wrong.  Sometimes we anticipate difficulties, only to find that God has smoothed the way. At other times, we expect an easy journey, only to find a time of trial.  As the writer of Ecclesiastes states, “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

Pondering on surprising outcomes, I found myself thinking about two Old Testament characters, whose stories have a surprising twist.

The first of these is Jacob, who fleeing from the understandable wrath of his brother Esau, whom he had cheated out of an important blessing, encountered God through a dream (See Genesis 28).  I guess that was not what he expected.  God makes a gracious promise to Jacob, to which he responds with a promise to honour God in the future.  Arriving at his intended destination, he meets and falls in love with beautiful Rachel.  His uncle Laban is willing to reward Jacob for his labour as a shepherd, but when Jacob asks for the hand of Rachel, he discovers that his uncle sets the price at seven years unpaid service.  But when the seven years are up, and the morning after the wedding feast, Jacob awakens to discover that he has slept not with beautiful Rachel, but her somewhat less attractive older sister.

Laban makes him work another seven years for Rachel.  Then for the next six years as his uncle changes his wages detrimentally ten times.  It seems that everything that Jacob strives for is met with disappointment and challenge.  I wonder, did he question where was the promise of God being fulfilled?  It was probably not what he was expecting.

The irony of devious Jacob suffering at the hand of a devious uncle is not lost to the reader.  And at the end, Jacob returns and finds, not an angry vindictive Esau, but a welcoming brother.  That was not what he expected.

Through all the disappointments and trials, two things happened.  Jacob was being made to be the man God wanted.  He also became the father of eleven sons and a daughter. A twelfth son was added later.  One of those sons was Joseph (Jacob’s favourite).  As a young man of 17 God gave him two dreams, indicating one day, his parents and older brothers would bow down to him.  But it was 22 years before God’s promise was fulfilled.  Over those years he was rejected by his brothers out of jealousy, thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused of rape, cast into prison for around thirteen years, and let down by a fellow prisoner.  I suspect that was not what he expected!

But by the time his brothers came, seeking to buy corn, Joseph had been released from prison and been elevated to the second most important person in Egypt.  Consequently, his brothers failed to recognise him.  Finally, after some crafty manipulation Joseph managed to get his whole family to Egypt, causing him to weep uncontrollably as God’s gracious promise was fulfilled in God’s time and in God’s way.

They could never have expected that God’s purpose revealed to Joseph at 17 would turn out for their blessing when he was 39.  It was not what they expected.  Later, after Jacob had died, his brothers feared for their safety.  Joseph put their minds at rest by pointing out that although their actions had evil intent, God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).

Many of us treasure the statement in Romans 8:28, “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”.  I would like to hope that those reading this, not only know Jesus as Saviour, but have also made him Lord.  When we surrender to his will and invite him to work out his purposes in our lives, it will not always be what we expect.  We might meet unexpected blessing or unexpected trials, but as Jacob and Joseph found out God’s way is best.  A David wrote in his song, “As for God, his way is perfect:  the Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” (2 Samuel 22:31)

From the Diary

This past Sunday I was asked if I could cover the service at the prison for an Anglican Chaplain who was off sick.  It happened that I was free, and valued the opportunity for a second service after the previous week which had been marked with much blessing.

Last Saturday, Gordon Banks and I conducted the online seminar.  Much of the week had been spent in preparation.  All but one person declared this to be helpful, with most describing it as “very helpful”.  Similarly, all but one indicated they would be happy to recommend the webinars to others, most would do so enthusiastically.  We work hard to make these webinars useful to rural Christians and rural churches.  But probably 90% of those who receive these Praise & Prayer News have yet to discover their value.

To help us understand why this might be, we are asking you to complete a simple and short survey.  You can do so anonymously if you wish.  Please do help us make the webinar programme more effective.  The survey looks at various aspects and will only take a few moments of your time. 

Please click this link to go to the survey.

Tuesday 8^th August – HMP Gartree

Wednesday 9^th to Friday 11^th – Doreen will be on a short break with relatives in Kent while I travel on to East Sussex for some important meetings and a short break too.

Sunday 13^th – Newark Congregational Church, Nottinghamshire

Monday 14th to Friday 18^th – “Holiday at Home” outreach, Market Harborough

Saturday 19^th – East Midlands Mission Support Group Meeting

Sunday 20^th – Welby Lane Mission, Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire

Thank you.

Barry

Life Sometimes Hurts

We were singing John Wimber’s short hymn, “O let the Son of God enfold you with is Spirit and his love” and were partly through the second verse which has the lines, “O give him all your tears and sadness, give him all your years of pain”, when I suddenly felt there was someone with a special need in the meeting.  It was a Sunday evening and I was leading a meeting in a church hall.  There were no more than 24, and possibly less, in attendance and all of them I knew quite well. What I felt was that there was someone there who was deeply hurt, so much so that their soul felt as if it was one large bruise, too tender to touch.

I couldn’t think who it might be. It didn’t seem to fit anyone, as far as I was aware.  Was it my imagination, or could it have been a revelation from God.  If it was, then that sort of thing was not a common experience for me.  As we stopped singing, I plucked up courage, and spoke.  “I’m not sure if God has revealed something to me, but I think there might be someone here tonight who has suffered a deep hurt, like a very painful bruise.  Now you feel so bruised that you dare not even allow God to touch you in case it brings more pain.  If you recognise what I am saying, please know that the Holy Spirit moves very gently.  Let him touch you and heal the pain as we sing the song once again.”  We sang the song again and the service moved on.

I half hoped someone would speak to me after the meeting, and put me at ease.  But no one did and I went home feeling a little stupid.  The next morning, I found an envelope had been pushed through our letterbox.  On opening it I found a beautiful poem, written as a testimony by Anna.  I had called her family the previous day.  They were relaxing and Anna was sitting on a settee with her feet up.  But there was nothing to alert me to what she had just gone through.  I was to learn that she had just come home from hospital following an operation to terminate an ectopic pregnancy.  A little life had been developing in one of her fallopian tubes instead of the womb.  A surgical procedure had been urgently required, bringing an end to the pain, but also to the life within her.  But one pain had been replaced with another pain, for which there was no easy cure.

While I was ignorant of all Anna had gone through, and the hurt she felt that Sunday evening, God knew, and longed to touch her soul, if only she would let him.  Here is Anna’s poem, written on arriving home that evening.

Empty arms are painful,

Empty arms they hurt,

Empty arms – they tear

At the strings of my heart

I long to hold my baby

I long to call his name

I long to whisper, “I love you”

And caress that delicate frame.

His creation was so special

He was to be our third

The love that was his making –

Beauty – unseen – unheard.

A longed for little brother

A longed for little son

Excitement becomes a nightmare

As death threatens the little one.

Foetus – the medics called him

Pregnancy products his name

Ectopic was my condition

Surgery the cure for the pain.

I got caught up in all their mechanics

The stitches, the scar and the pills.

But the hurt – it just continued

Grief the cause of my ills.

My babe got lost in the jargon –

The jargon of hospital care.

He wasn’t a baby, he wasn’t a child,

Just an “it” no longer there.

Reality was dulled by this tactic;

It even worked for a while.

“Try for another to replace it”

Well-meaning advice with a smile.

It wasn’t another baby I needed

As a remedy – feelings to numb;

I had to work through the turmoil

The sadness of losing my son.

I was angry with God for a short time

“I don’t understand” was my cry.

“I want my baby – I WANT MY BABY”.

“I love you” came His reply.

God was longing to heal me.

This I knew deep down from the start

But I was scared to let him touch me

Scared of more pain in my heart.

He said, “Remember, I lost my baby –

Gave up my precious Son,

Watched him suffer and die in the worst way

For you, my beloved one.

I cry with you as you’re weeping;

I feel with you as you hurt;

Let me love you, walk with you, care for you,

Embrace you and bring you comfort.”

“The Holy Spirit works gently”

I heard somebody say

Like warm ointment He flowed in to heal me,

And soothed all the pain away.

Anna Wilson 

(Included here with permission.  Please do not reproduce in any form without permission)

Over the years since that day, I have shared Anna’s beautiful poem on occasions.  Often it has been used alongside one of my favourite solos, “All I ever do is love you” by Marilyn Baker.  I have always felt a special anointing when singing that song, and God has used it so many times to touch hearts.  I   had planned at the start of last week to incorporate John Winber’s hymn and Anna’s poem into the service at Gartree Prison yesterday.  When that decision was made I was not to know that little Charlie Gard would be allowed to die at the end of the week.  Nor was I aware until after the service, that several of the prisoners had wept over the loss of their own baby.  After the service, some prisoners testified to weeping as sang John Wimber’s song.  Another prisoner told me how his mother had experienced a traumatic ectopic pregnancy, and that he had been conceived not long after that.  Sadly, faith in Christ had been replaced by anger towards God for his mother.  Two prisoners have asked for copies of the poem to send back to their families.

Whatever your opinion regarding the battle fought by Charlie’s parents, as they resisted the advice of the specialist at the hospital, I know his passing will have caused them deep sadness.  Emotions might include anger at this time.  But I know too that God loves them and that he is what they need.  Occasionally, pastoral issues have challenged me enormously.  One such occasion was on the second successive cot death for two friends of mine.  Another occasion was hearing a colleague, who was a hospital chaplain, speak about the frightening number of services he conducted in a year following still births or other infant mortality situations.  I’m not sure that I could have done his job.  Sharing the pain of parents on the loss of a child is far from easy.

Jesus wept at the graveside of a friend.  I feel sure that the heart of God the Father was torn as he watched his Son endure the cross.  Whatever painful experience we might pass through in our lives, God knows what we might seek to hide from others, or even deny to ourselves.  He knows, he loves, and he cares.  If you are not familiar with the hymn it is 502 in Mission Praise, if you use that book.  I would also be happy to send the words if anyone has difficulty in tracking it down.

From the Diary

Saturday 5^th August – The Webinar (see below).  Please make sure that you have booked in.

Sunday 6^th – Weldon Congregational Church, Rutland

9^th to 11^th – I will be working in East Sussex on a difficult project.

Sunday 13^th – Newark Congregational Church, Nottinghamshire

14 – 18 “Holiday at Home” outreach to older people in Market Harborough.

Saturday 19^th – East Midlands Mission Support Group Meeting

Sunday 20^th – Welby Lane Mission, Melton Mowbray.

The trustees of Rural Mission Solutions determined to close a bank account and have opened an account elsewhere.  Unfortunately, this has not gone smoothly, and we operate with a limited income for that ministry.  Please pray that existing supporters will not be lost through this process.

Please pray for Christian friends at Dunks Green, near Tonbridge.  I am a trustee of the Chapel there, and we are seeking permission from the Charity Commission to transfer it to a new charity that the members have set up.  Please pray that this will not be hindered any more than it has been already.

I am a trustee under a Will which includes a large and run-down property in East Sussex.  My fellow trustee and I would like to re-accommodate the elderly lady who lives in this house and provide her with a regular income. But she is very attached and has resisted this. She now needs a fairly high level of care.  While we do not wish to cause her stress, we feel that we have no alternative to our plan.  Please pray.

Please pray for a church in Hastings, where I was surprised to find I was still a trustee some 29 years after leaving this church!  I have been trying to point this church in the best direction for resolving governance issues they have.

Finally, lease pray for new additional appropriate people to come and share in our ministry to the rural churches of the UK.  A ‘Joshua’ is needed, not to mention a Timothy and John Mark!

Thank you for standing with us.

Barry